Is this goodbye?
by HaphneHarmony
Summary: My first fanfic. Harry goes to tell his best friend that he has had enough and is leaving. They make a snap decision... for once. ONE SHOT. HHr


All characters depicted are property of JKR. I own nothing and only write to let out my frustration at how much better it would be if I owned it all...

Harry morosely rang Hermione's doorbell. He wasn't looking forward to this conversation at all. In many ways, he hoped she wouldn't answer, would let him take the coward's way out. But that was not to be as they lock clicked and the bushy brunette hair proceeded the appearance of her face in the doorway.

"Oh, hey Harry. Wasn't expecting to see you here today," said Hermione, cheerily.

Harry regretted he would probably crush her mood, but didn't see any way out of it.

"I'm actually just here to say goodbye," Harry replied.

"I didn't know you had a trip coming up," Hermione stated. The two shared almost everything in their lives, and Hermione always knew if Harry was travelling for business.

"This isn't work, Hermione. I'm leaving the country. Maybe for a few years," Harry deadpanned. This was a decision he'd thought long and hard about, and concluded it was for the best.

"What? Why?" Hermione wailed.

"What's keeping me here?" Harry replied caustically.

"Ginny, me, Ron, your friends, your job-," Hermione started.

"A job which I went into out of a sense of obligation. I thought it was the only thing I could actually do. I hate being an auror. The hours spent staking out homes and fighting dark wizards are a constant reminder of how painful my childhood was. I killed Voldemort and as an auror I have nightmares about it every single night. I need to move on, forget. I can't do that at the MLE.

"Ginny. A controlling twat who denies me any great amount of contact with any member of the female gender, particularly you, Hermione, out of jealousy, despite the fact that she became known as loose and a slut at Hogwarts to try and make me jealous. Ginny, who hardly sees me due to her constant training with the Harpies. Ginny, who hates spending time with Teddy and is currently refusing to have children as they might get in the way of her Quidditch and her media figure. Finally, Ginny who potioned the Boy-Who-Lived at the Burrow to get him interested in her so she could sit on his PR coattails. She never wants to talk about the pain I went through, she refuses to help me heal. She loves the Victory Ball and the public events, so she can hang off the arm of her childhood hero, the Man-Who-Conquered, not be the loving girlfriend of Harry.

"And then my friends. Yes, there's you Hermione. My one true friend through almost everything I've done. Yet I've never truly said thank you to her. What does that make me? Neville and Luna are good mates, yes, but they could be found elsewhere, in people who aren't judging me subconsciously for being Harry Potter. Then there's Ron. He's so like his sister. Being around him just kills me a little bit more inside every time I see him. Now he's got his own slice of fame he goes around telling an entirely different story where he wiped out half the death eaters. Not the fact that he was the one who deserted us in the middle of nowhere because it all got a bit too much for ickle-Ronniekins.

"My family is dead. Everyone I've ever loved except for you, is dead. Mum, dad. I don't remember anything about them except them pleading with Tom. Sirius, Remus. My only connection to them. Dead. Then there's you. I always stood away from you because Ron made his intentions clear and made me promise to back up. Love you like a sister? What a pile of shite. I don't have a sister. I've never had a family to know how to love one. So why would I love you, my beautiful, brave best friend who can understand me like no other on this planet, like a sister? But Ron was always so fucking jealous. I couldn't risk two friendships for what I might have had with you. If it had gone wrong, I would been utterly friendless. But I think that might be better than seeing you with Ron. The pile of crap boyfriend who disagrees with you about almost everything important, wanted you for homework help and probably 'cause he thought you were so insecure you'd just spread your legs to keep him with you. 'Cause the virile pureblood specimen Ron Weasley would deign to lower himself to a mere muggleborn. He learnt how to 'charm' you from a book. A bloody book. Only book Ron bloody Weasley's ever bloody read. I so wanted to say something to you when it was just us two in the tent, but then you looked so miserable without him. I convinced myself I could be happy so long as you were happy. Now I've got absolutely nothing left to keep me here," Harry finished as his rant, which had become increasingly desperate, finally ran out of steam.

"I'm sorry for dumping on you. But it needed to be said. I feel better for it being out there. I love you, Hermione Granger. It took me a long time to realise it, probably too long for me in truth. But if I'm ever going to get over that, I'm either going to have to go and live as a muggle, in which case you might be able to find me, but British wizarding society, which doesn't seem to give a crap about the lessons Voldemort should have taught it, wouldn't. Or I need to get out of Britain. Somewhere the name Harry Potter doesn't cause people whiplash as their head flies round. I want to see the world. I've never even left this island. So yeah, I think you can tell I've made my mind up," Harry finished almost limply. It had taken a lot out of him to say all those things, the long repressed thoughts and feelings.

Hermione was weeping freely at this point. Frustrated in part because she had known that Harry was down, but she hadn't realised his problems were this severe, but also in part because she was forced to agree with almost everything he said. Aside from some of the things about Ron and Ginny, mostly the book and the potions, and Harry's confession of loving her, she had to admit she had realised most of them long ago. She could admit: his life was terrible. She also didn't know what to think about his confession. 10 years ago, she would have jumped up and down on the bed, screaming with joy. But she had long ago tried to bury those feelings as Harry appeared nought but platonic in his appreciation of her. Now she knew it was all a front just like hers had been. But what the hell was she to do about it, she wondered? As she was thinking these things, Harry interrupted her.

"Hermione, if you've get nothing to say, I'll be going. Thank you for being my friend, you've no idea what its meant to have you standing by my side. Thank you for you logical mind, your bravery, your intelligence and your love, in whatever form. Thank you for Snape's potions challenge, discovering a basilisk, getting McGonagall to check my broom, flying Beaky, the Triwizard, the Ministry fiasco, the Hunt and everything since. My best friend, my only friend, my Hermione," Harry turned and starting opening her door.

He had every intention of walking out and apparating away. It was clear his feeling weren't reciprocated. He supposed unrequited love was always the strongest. He would live his life a bachelor for it would be unfair to give another a place in a heart that was already won. But as he was about to leave he heard a plaintive whimper.

"Let me come with you, Harry," Hermione choked. "I'm not happy here. Not really. You're right, Ron just wants me to become a carbon copy of Molly- popping out children once every 9 months. I have dreams. Maybe. I had dreams, I don't know any more. But I want to take a chance here. I've never done anything impulsive, really. That's the main reason I'm still with Ron- I decided in sixth year he was safe and buried my feelings for you. Now I want to follow my heart, just once. Can we see if it works?"

Harry chose not to reply. He simply leaned over and pressed his lips to hers. The kiss was chaste, it wasn't possessive like Ron and Ginny could be. Harry just tried to convey everything he felt for this incredible woman in one gesture. And she was sold. And so without breaking the kiss, Hermione side-alonged Harry away from her home and into a new chapter, a happier chapter, of their lives.

The pair married two years later in a ceremony attended only by Hermione's parents. They lived in a peaceful countryside home and owned their own bookshop with a hidden magical section in the back behind a wall similar to that which hid the platform for the Hogwart's Express. They had three children, all of whom grew up and attended Hogwarts without the influence of any poisonous Weasels. They heard a bit about Ginny, her exploits became legend as she slept with just about every male on the quidditch circuit, always believing Harry would get jealous and come back to her. Her brother remained a low ranking auror. Without Harry's abilities to help on missions, it became painfully obvious he was little more than an average wizard and his star from defeating Voldemort faded quickly. He never understood why women disliked such a man as himself.

Eventually, Hermione passed away in her sleep aged 135, 111 years after marrying Harry. He had no desire to linger without her. His adulthood had been filled with love, and it was his time to go and see his parents, Remus, Sirius and his Hermione again. He died only a week after her, when she appeared in his sleep and led her with him. The pair was buried simply in the graveyard in Godric's Hollow, away from the fanfare of the Ministry to be missed by all who were close to them.


End file.
